Mustache Jokes

147+ Mustache Jokes That’ll Shave Off Your Stress

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They say laughter is the best grooming tool, and when it comes to mustache jokes 😎, things are about to get hairy in the funniest way possible! If you’ve ever twirled your mustache while cracking a smile or secretly admired a perfect handlebar, you’re in for a treat. These jokes are not just about facial hair, they’re about attitude, confidence, and the kind of humor that sticks (literally) to your upper lip 😂.

From clever puns to laugh-out-loud one-liners, this article will shave off your stress faster than a fresh trim. You’ll find the wittiest, funniest, and most creative mustache-themed jokes that’ll tickle your funny bone and maybe inspire your next look. So sit back, stroke that mustache (real or imaginary), and let’s get ready to giggle.

Best Mustache Jokes

When it comes to mustache jokes, these are the cream of the crop smooth, stylish, and guaranteed to make you grin 😎. Whether you’re a proud mustache owner or just a fan of the fuzz, these jokes are the best way to brush up your humor game. Ready to twist, twirl, and laugh? Let’s roll!

  1. My mustache entered a talent show, it swept the competition clean! 😁
  2. I told my barber a secret, but he couldn’t keep it… he let it slip right through the whiskers! 😂
  3. My mustache and I are in a committed growth relationship. 💪
  4. I tried to shave my mustache, but it refused, said it was attached emotionally. 😅
  5. My mustache wanted a promotion, it said it’s growing into a leadership role! 😎
  6. Every mustache tells a story… mine’s mostly about missed shaves. 🧔
  7. I complimented my mustache today — it really needed a little grooming confidence. 😁
  8. My mustache joined the debate club. Now it’s always raising important ‘stubble’ points. 🤓
  9. A mustache walked into a bar, everyone was whisker-ing about it! 😂
  10. My mustache has trust issues… it can’t handle close shaves. 😅
  11. They said good things take time. My mustache took forever — but it was worth the wait! ⏳
  12. My mustache loves music — especially ‘hair metal’ bands. 🎸
  13. When my mustache feels dramatic, it starts curling at the ends. 🎭
  14. My mustache and I are inseparable — we stick together through thick and thin. 💕
  15. I told my mustache a joke. It laughed so hard, it nearly fell off! 🤣
  16. My mustache has its own fan club — membership requires a comb. 😂
  17. I entered a mustache contest once — came in first by a whisker! 🥇
  18. My mustache told me it’s tired — said it needs a little ‘rest-yling’. 😴
  19. I never argue with my mustache; it always has the upper lip. 😏
  20. My mustache should start a podcast — it’s got great growth stories! 🎙️

Funny Mustache Jokes

If laughter had a face, it would definitely have a mustache! These funny mustache jokes will have you giggling like a kid and twirling like a pro. Let the ticklish fun begin! 😂

  1. My mustache joined a gym — it wanted more upper-lip strength. 💪
  2. People ask how I stay calm. Easy — I brush my problems under my mustache. 😌
  3. My mustache is bilingual — it speaks fluently in curl and charm. 🌀
  4. I told my mustache a secret, but it couldn’t keep it — too thin-lipped. 🤭
  5. My mustache started meditating — it’s all about inner peace and outer grease. 🧘
  6. I invited my mustache to dinner; it said it was already full. 😂
  7. My mustache tried stand-up comedy — but the jokes didn’t grow on everyone. 🎤
  8. My mustache’s favorite movie? The Hairy Potter series. 🪄
  9. I told my mustache to relax; it said it’s under a lot of growth pressure. 😅
  10. My mustache loves road trips — it’s always ready to go the extra ‘mile-stache’. 🚗
  11. My mustache hates selfies — it says it’s not picture-perfect yet. 📸
  12. My mustache got jealous of my beard — it said, “Stop stealing my thunder!” ⚡
  13. My mustache told a joke so good, even my razor laughed. 🤣
  14. My mustache is an overachiever — it always goes above and lip-yond. 😂
  15. My mustache joined social media — it’s got quite the following! 🧔
  16. My mustache and I share everything — except shampoo. 🧴
  17. My mustache dreams of becoming a motivational speaker: “Never give up — just grow through it!” 💬
  18. My mustache threw a party — it was a real hair-raising event! 🎉
  19. My mustache got stage fright; it froze under the spotlight. 😳
  20. I told my mustache to smile; it said, “I’m already shaping happiness!” 😄

Short Mustache Jokes

Sometimes, the shortest mustache jokes pack the biggest punch! Quick, clean, and perfect for sharing with friends or posting online — these one-liners are short enough to stick and funny enough to tickle! 😆

  1. My mustache is my mood barometer, it curls when I’m happy. 😊
  2. Keep calm and grow a mustache. 😎
  3. My mustache refuses to shave, it’s attached! 😂
  4. No drama, just stubble. 🤷‍♂️
  5. Life’s better with a little upper-lip confidence. 💫
  6. I mustache you a question… later! 😉
  7. When in doubt, grow it out. 💪
  8. My mustache is my best accessory. 🧔
  9. A day without mustache jokes? Un-stubble-able! 😂
  10. My mustache doesn’t talk — it speaks volumes. 🎙️
  11. Got mustache? Get laughter! 😁
  12. Too cool to shave. ❄️
  13. Whisker goals = achieved. 🏆
  14. My mustache has a PhD in charm. 🎓
  15. Just another day in the hair-light. ☀️
  16. The future is fuzz-tastic! 🚀
  17. One mustache to rule them all. 👑
  18. A smooth face? Not my style. 😉
  19. Mustache mode: ON. 🔥
  20. Grow, glow, and go! 🌟

Mustache Jokes One Liner

One-liners are like mustaches — short, sharp, and full of character! These quick punches of humor are perfect for status updates, captions, or when you just want to spread a little laughter without saying too much 😄

  1. I mustache you to smile, it’s free grooming for your soul! 😁
  2. My mustache and I are growing through a lot together. 🌱
  3. A bad hair day is still a good mustache day! 💇‍♂️
  4. My mustache doesn’t hide secrets, it hides snacks. 🍪
  5. I trust my mustache more than my Wi-Fi connection. 📶
  6. If laughter had a face, it would totally have a mustache. 😂
  7. Keep your dreams big and your mustache bigger. 💭
  8. I didn’t choose the mustache life — it brushed against me first. 😉
  9. A mustache is like Wi-Fi for your face, instant connection! 💫
  10. My mustache believes in slow growth and fast jokes. 🕺
  11. You can’t handle the smoothness of this stache! 😎
  12. My mustache doesn’t compete, it simply outgrows. 🌿
  13. I don’t need therapy, I just need a good trim. ✂️
  14. Every mustache deserves applause, it’s a growing achievement! 👏
  15. When life gets rough, comb through it like a pro. 💪
  16. My mustache told me to chill — it’s all under control. 😌
  17. Smooth talkers shave; legends grow. 🧔
  18. Be kind, rewind, and re-grow. 🔁
  19. If you can’t handle the hair, stay out of the mirror! 😅
  20. My mustache has more personality than my alarm clock. ⏰

Cute Mustache Jokes

When mustaches get cute, it’s hard not to smile! These adorable mustache jokes will melt hearts faster than warm wax. Whether you’re a proud mustache grower or just a fan of fuzzy fun, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.

  1. My mustache and I are in a serious relationship — we’ve been growing together for years! 💕
  2. My mustache says “good morning” before I even do. ☀️
  3. When I smile, my mustache waves too — teamwork! 😄
  4. My mustache is like a hug for my upper lip. 🤗
  5. I asked my mustache if it wanted a trim, and it said, “Don’t cut me off mid-growth!” ✂️
  6. My mustache is fluffier than a kitten on a cloud. 🐱
  7. Every time I drink milk, my mustache throws a party. 🥛
  8. My mustache is my best friend, we stick together through thick and thin. 🤝
  9. I think my mustache winks at people when I’m not looking. 😉
  10. Love is temporary, but a good mustache is forever. ❤️
  11. My mustache has more fans than my social media. 📱
  12. If my mustache could talk, it would say, “Comb me like you mean it.” 💬
  13. I lost my mustache comb once — it was a hairy situation. 😂
  14. My mustache makes my smile 50% cuter, science confirmed! 🧠
  15. Even when I’m grumpy, my mustache still looks cheerful. 😅
  16. My mustache’s favorite movie? Beauty and the ‘Beard’. 🎬
  17. My mustache doesn’t need permission — it grows where it pleases! 🌱
  18. My mustache is my morning motivation — it always stands tall. ☕
  19. A clean-shaven face feels wrong — I miss my fuzzy buddy! 😢
  20. My mustache makes every selfie ten times more charming. 📸

Silly Mustache Jokes

Get ready for pure silliness! These mustache jokes are so goofy, they’ll have you giggling in seconds. Perfect for sharing with friends, family, or anyone who appreciates a dash of funny fuzz.

  1. My mustache tried to join a rock band — but it couldn’t handle the “shave” schedule. 🎸
  2. I told my mustache a secret… now it’s all over my face! 🤫
  3. My mustache and eyebrows are in a competition — it’s a real hair-raising rivalry! 😂
  4. I don’t have bad hair days, just mustache mood swings. 😜
  5. My mustache thinks it’s famous, it keeps asking for an autograph! 🖊️
  6. My mustache entered a marathon. It didn’t win, but it made a smooth finish. 🏁
  7. I think my mustache is plotting against my razor. 🕵️‍♂️
  8. My mustache doesn’t do mornings — it’s a night-grower. 🌙
  9. My mustache tried to take a nap, but the comb woke it up. 😴
  10. I asked my mustache for advice, and it said, “Stay sharp.” 🪒
  11. My mustache joined yoga class — it’s mastering the ‘twirl’ pose! 🧘‍♂️
  12. My mustache doesn’t like water — it prefers dry humor. 💦
  13. I gave my mustache a nickname — “Sir Tickleface.” 😆
  14. My mustache applied for a job — apparently, it’s very well-groomed. 💼
  15. My mustache once got jealous of my beard — it couldn’t handle the competition. 😏
  16. When I eat soup, my mustache gets front-row tickets. 🍜
  17. My mustache loves selfies but hates filters. 🤳
  18. My mustache always wins hide-and-seek — it’s great at blending in! 😎
  19. I asked my mustache if it’s happy, it said, “I’m growing on you.” 🌱
  20. My mustache and I share everything… except my toothbrush. 🪥

Related Post : 150+ Unforgettable Mustache Puns That Will Make You Smile

Mustache Jokes for Kids

It’s time for the little laughers! These mustache jokes for kids are totally safe, totally silly, and totally fun. Perfect for school jokes, family time, or just a good giggle before bedtime.

  1. Why did the mustache go to school? To brush up on grooming! 📚
  2. What did the mustache say to the comb? “You complete me!” 🥰
  3. Why was the mustache always smiling? It was tickled pink! 😄
  4. What’s a mustache’s favorite food? Hair-yaki! 🍱
  5. Why did the mustache cross the face? To get to the other side! 😂
  6. How do mustaches stay cool in summer? They chill under the nose! ❄️
  7. What’s a baby mustache called? A little whisker! 👶
  8. Why did the mustache start a band? It wanted to make some “smooth” music! 🎶
  9. What did the mustache say after a good joke? “That’s upper-lip humor!” 🤣
  10. Why did the mustache refuse to shave? It didn’t want to face the truth! 🪒
  11. How does a mustache say goodbye? “See you ‘hair’ soon!” 👋
  12. Why did the mustache blush? Someone said it was cute! 😊
  13. What game do mustaches play? Hide and cheek! 😜
  14. Why was the mustache a good student? It always brushed up before class. ✏️
  15. Why did the mustache get an award? For outstanding ‘growth’! 🏆
  16. What’s a mustache’s favorite sport? Curling, of course! 🌀
  17. What did the mustache say to the mirror? “Stop staring, I’m shy!” 😳
  18. Why do mustaches never get lonely? They’ve got plenty of whisker-friends! 🧔‍♂️
  19. What do you call a dancing mustache? A groove-stache! 🕺
  20. Why did the mustache laugh? It found the whole thing hair-larious! 😂

Mustache Jokes for Adults

Here’s a classy twist clever, witty mustache jokes adults will love. No edgy humor, just smart wordplay that’ll keep your coffee breaks fun and fuzzy.

  1. My mustache doesn’t hide secrets, it just filters them. ☕
  2. I told my mustache I was stressed and it said, “Take it on the chin.” 😎
  3. My mustache gives business meetings a touch of sophistication… or confusion. 💼
  4. My mustache is like a fine wine, better with age. 🍷
  5. My mustache gets more attention than my resume. 😂
  6. My mustache’s motto: “Work hard, groom harder.” 💪
  7. I didn’t choose the mustache life — it grew on me. 🧔
  8. My mustache doesn’t do drama — it’s all about calm and curl. 🌀
  9. My mustache is my natural conversation starter, no icebreakers needed. ❄️
  10. I call my mustache “CEO of my upper lip.” 👔
  11. I once shaved my mustache, people didn’t recognize me at work! 😅
  12. My mustache saves me from awkward small talk, people just stare. 👀
  13. I think my mustache is more photogenic than me. 📸
  14. My mustache is the ultimate confidence booster, it’s like a built-in power suit! 💥
  15. When life gets rough, I just brush it off. 🪮
  16. My mustache makes Mondays slightly more bearable. ☕
  17. I don’t grow a mustache to impress — I grow it to express! 🎭
  18. My mustache and coffee mug are inseparable morning partners. ☕
  19. I don’t need filters, my mustache is my best angle. 📷
  20. My mustache and I have an understanding: it makes me look cool, I keep it clean. 😏

Bad Mustache Jokes

You know those jokes that are so bad they’re good? Yeah — these are them! Bad mustache jokes that make you groan, giggle, and grin at the same time. The kind your friends pretend not to laugh at… but totally do.

  1. My mustache tried stand-up comedy once — it bombed, but it still got applause for growing on people. 🎤
  2. I told my mustache a bad joke. It didn’t laugh, it just curled in disappointment. 😬
  3. Why did my mustache start a podcast? To air out its bad jokes! 🎧
  4. My mustache wrote a joke book… but every punchline was half-shaved. 📖
  5. I thought of shaving today, but my mustache begged, “Don’t make a rash decision!” 😅
  6. My mustache and I broke up once… but we couldn’t stay apart. It was a hairy situation. 💔
  7. Why did my mustache refuse to sing? It didn’t want to hit a flat note! 🎶
  8. My mustache thinks it’s funny, but its humor is a bit… overgrown. 🌿
  9. My mustache wanted to act in a movie — but only in whisker roles. 🎬
  10. My mustache told me to stop telling bad jokes. I said, “You’re one to talk — you’re under my nose!” 😏
  11. I asked my mustache to help with my taxes. It said, “Sorry, I only handle upper lips.” 🧾
  12. My mustache joined a dating app. Its bio just said, “Looking for someone smooth.” 💘
  13. My mustache once told a joke so bad, even my beard rolled its eyes. 🙄
  14. I tried shaving a joke into my mustache… now people call me “The Pun Barber.” ✂️
  15. My mustache and Wi-Fi have something in common — both disconnect at the worst times! 📶
  16. Why don’t mustaches make good comedians? Their humor’s too whiskery! 😂
  17. My mustache wanted to go skydiving, but it chickened out — afraid of split ends. 🪂
  18. I told my mustache it looked tired. It said, “I’ve been growing through a lot lately.” 💤
  19. My mustache once entered a pun contest… but it was a close shave. 🏆
  20. The only bad mustache joke is the one you don’t share! 😄

Knock Knock Mustache Jokes

Nothing beats classic knock-knock humor — except when it comes with a twist of mustache! These are playful, clever, and full of personality.

  1. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Hairy.
    Hairy who?
    Hairy up, my mustache is growing impatient! 😆
  2. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Shave.
    Shave who?
    Shave the drama, I’m keeping my mustache! 😜
  3. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Mo.
    Mo who?
    Mo mustache, mo problems — but I love it! 😎
  4. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Whisker.
    Whisker who?
    Whisker me luck before my trim! 🍀
  5. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Stash.
    Stash who?
    Stash me a cookie — this mustache deserves it! 🍪
  6. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Lip.
    Lip who?
    Lip it real good — my mustache is dancing! 💃
  7. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Grow.
    Grow who?
    Grow big or go home — mustache edition! 💪
  8. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Comb.
    Comb who?
    Comb over here and admire this fine mustache! 😏
  9. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Buzz.
    Buzz who?
    Buzz off, razor — I’m in growth season! 🪒
  10. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Smooth.
    Smooth who?
    Smooth talking won’t make me shave, buddy! 😂
  11. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Handle.
    Handle who?
    Handlebar, nice to meet you! 🕵️‍♂️
  12. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Growl.
    Growl who?
    Growl I do love a good mustache! 🦁
  13. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Tash.
    Tash who?
    Tash me another joke, these are great! 😁
  14. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Brush.
    Brush who?
    Brush up your jokes — my mustache deserves better! 😂
  15. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Hair.
    Hair who?
    Hair today, gone tomorrow — unless it’s my mustache! 🧔
  16. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Style.
    Style who?
    Style you later, gotta wax this beauty! 🕶️
  17. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Trim.
    Trim who?
    Trim lightly — this art takes time! 🪮
  18. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Soap.
    Soap who?
    Soap-er proud of my mustache, thanks for asking! 🧼
  19. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Curl.
    Curl who?
    Curl up and enjoy these mustache vibes! ☕
  20. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Nose.
    Nose who?
    Nose where the mustache magic happens! 👃

Mustache Jokes Dirty Reddit (Clean but Witty)

Okay, so Reddit might love “dirty” jokes — but let’s keep ours clean and classy, with clever wordplay that still gives that cheeky chuckle. 😉

  1. My mustache flirts better than I do — it just twitches and wins hearts. 😏
  2. Someone said my mustache is seductive. I said, “Don’t blame me, it’s naturally smooth.” 😌
  3. My mustache gets all the compliments — I just stand there blushing beneath it. 😳
  4. My mustache once winked at someone… or maybe it just twitched. 😅
  5. I don’t pick up lines — my mustache does it for me. 💋
  6. My mustache has more charm than a box of chocolates. 🍫
  7. When I smile, my mustache flirts a little too. 😁
  8. People ask if my mustache is single, I say, “It’s in a long-term relationship with my face.” 😂
  9. My mustache gives off main-character energy. 🎬
  10. My mustache doesn’t need pick-up lines — it just curls and conquers. 💪
  11. My mustache’s favorite song? “Smooth Operator.” 🎶
  12. My mustache once got a love letter addressed “To the upper lip legend.” 💌
  13. My mustache doesn’t do small talk, only smooth talk. 😎
  14. My mustache once went viral on Reddit, people called it “whisker goals.” 📈
  15. My mustache is basically my wingman — always there when I need confidence. 🦸‍♂️
  16. My mustache tried dating apps once, it got 99 swipes right. 😆
  17. People say my mustache looks like it keeps secrets… and maybe a few crushes too. 😉
  18. My mustache never lies — it’s too honest to hide behind. 🤥
  19. My mustache doesn’t ghost people — it fades slowly, respectfully. 😂
  20. My mustache’s relationship status? “Committed, conditioned, and combed.” 💖

Mustache Jokes Instagram

Instagram is where the mustache becomes a superstar — selfies, captions, and viral laughs! These jokes are short, witty, and totally post-worthy for captions or reels.

  1. Life’s too short, grow something amazing on your face! 📸
  2. Selfie level: mustache perfection. 😎
  3. Warning: This mustache causes spontaneous compliments. 💬
  4. Every photo needs one thing, a glorious mustache. 📷
  5. Smile powered by caffeine and confidence (and a mustache). ☕
  6. If you’ve got it, groom it. 💇‍♂️
  7. My mustache gets more likes than I do. ❤️
  8. Good vibes and good grooming only. 😌
  9. My mustache doesn’t follow trends — it sets them. 😏
  10. Be bold, be brave, be bearded (a little). 💪
  11. This mustache was made for close-ups. 🎥
  12. Feeling cute — might twirl my mustache later. 😜
  13. Mustache game strong. 💥
  14. Just another day being facial-hair fabulous. 💁‍♂️
  15. Not all heroes wear capes — some wear mustaches. 🦸‍♂️
  16. Keep calm and comb on. 🪮
  17. This isn’t just hair — it’s upper lip art. 🎨
  18. Grow with the flow. 🌊
  19. When in doubt, wax it out. 😄
  20. Stache the day away with a smile. 😁

Read More : 147+ Earthquake Puns That’ll Shake Up Your Funny Bone

Conclusion

Well, there you have it, a full grooming session of mustache jokes that’ll tickle your funny bone and make your upper lip proud! From cute and silly to clever and classy, these puns prove that a good mustache isn’t just a style statement it’s a laugh magnet.

If you smiled (even once admit it 😉), don’t keep the fun to yourself! Share these mustache jokes with your friends, tag your favorite beard buddy, or post one on Instagram to ‘shave’ someone’s bad day away. Humor grows best when shared just like a mustache with the right care! 🥸

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